Am I the only mom out there who actually enjoys a sick baby?
I know, this sounds bad, but hear me out. C is a little feverish and congested, nothing to be too worried about. It's just enough to make her tired and cuddly, just enough to force me to slow down and take care of her. She doesn't want to jump out of my arms as usual, doesn't squeal or shriek, simply she rests her little tired head on my breast and closes her eyes when she's done nursing. Soon enough the fever will be gone and she will want to crawl and grab that kleenex I left on the floor, climb on my not-yet-unpacked suitcase and laugh hysterically. I can't wait. But in the meantime, it's quiet here, and I enjoy the cuddles.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Ohio
This past weekend we did something I never would have believed I would be doing with an eight month old: we drove to Cincinnati. Yes, you are correct, it is a eleven hour drive, without stops. With appropriate breaks for lunch and dinner, nursing, gas, water and bathroom, it's more around fifteen hours. It was for a good reason, though: Br. G's first vows into the Dominican Order.
And so we left the city on Thursday morning, Fr.J, L, C and I. We finally arrived at the Cincinnati seminary, where we were to stay the first two nights, at one in the morning. We had an overall wonderful ride. C was an angel, sleeping most of it, but also looking out the window, being very active when we stopped at restaurants to eat, playing with her rattle, etc. She didn't cry once. She didn't eat as much as usual though and I therefore got a little engorged. She wasn't too happy to be awake to be changed and put into her bed at one in the morning, but fell asleep very fast and woke up only once, despite the pretty noticeable creaking of my bed. She even let me sleep in until 7:00 and played in her bed while I showered. Our "guest suite" had two rooms: a little parlor with a couch and a desk, and then the bedroom itself. It might have been bigger than P and my first apartment in NY! It was carpeted and so C felt comfortable honing her crawling skills. She can definitely get herself around now, using one foot to push and one knee for stability. Not the most efficient mode of transportation, but it allows her to go back to a sitting position quickly when a toy falls from the sky or when a light needs inspection. She is also very determined to learn how to crawl on her hands and feet. You know, the bear walk. My bootcamp trainer had us do that in circles for a while and my whole body ached for a week. Are babies masochistic? Maybe she wants toned legs. In any case, she can now raise herself onto her feed, but not quite move them in that position yet.
On Friday morning we went to Gethsemani, KY, where St. Thomas Merton lived. St. Thomas was a Cistercian monk, but also a Columbia alum, so good manners assert that we should feel a distinct interest for him. No, really, he was a pretty interesting dude. However, there was not much at the abbey other than a gift shop, a little movie about Cistercians and the chapel. The most naked, empty Catholic church I have ever seen. There is nothing on the white-washed walls, nothing on the ceiling, the ground is cement and even the organ, altar and tabernacle are as bare as can be. We also got a special permission to go and visit his burial site. Obviously, visitors are asked to keep silent everywhere but in the gift shop. C obeyed that command at about 80%. I was a little worried that they would ask me to leave, but nobody said anything.
We were back at the Dominican priory in Cincinnati for vespers after which we all went to dinner, followed by complines. It was a good day, but it ended with me incredibly engorged. It was very painful and I hadn't brought my pump, thinking it would be unnecessary. How wrong I was! We therefore stopped by a Walgreen where I bought a small hand pump. Now I have two of those and use them very rarely, but I don't think I would have been able to sleep otherwise. On Saturday, Br.G picked me up at the seminary at 6:15 (yes, am) so that C and I could attend lauds while our brave drivers would rest and sleep in. I must say that all the offices were truly beautiful. The brothers have very nice and warm voices, were singing without frills but with confidence. It made it easy and natural to pray with them. There was more hanging out after lauds during which something extraordinary happened. Another brother was chatting with Br.G and I and waving at C, who suddenly returned the gesture. I thought it was coincidental, but she repeated it a couple of times so that it was unmistakable. She waved. She's a genius. Now, ok, I don't think she knows what the movement means, she was just imitating, but still. Genius.
Then there was the actual Profession mass. It was a wonderful two hours. We happened to be sitting in the very front, and there was a family with four or five kids right behind us. C enjoyed that a lot, did a little sleeping and a little singing. The ceremony was beautiful, solemn and with something almost mystical. I was thankful for the privilege of attending it, for looking on it almost gave me the impression of invading these brothers' privacy. You might have had the same feeling at a wedding perhaps. The impression of being invited into something much much bigger than you, something to which you're not sure you belong?
That evening we drove to Zanesville where the Dominican priory at which we were staying was, wondered at the poverty of this town, had dinner and crashed. C slept pretty well, again, but the delightful sound of the church bells for the first morning mass woke us up. After mass and breakfast, Sunday was spent in an uneventful drive back.
During this weekend, C also had much time to practise new language skills since she was strapped in her car seat much of the time. She is now good at bah-bah's, tha-tha's and sometimes mah-mah's. No intentional words yet, of course, it's just experimentation at this point. But it will come soon!
And so we left the city on Thursday morning, Fr.J, L, C and I. We finally arrived at the Cincinnati seminary, where we were to stay the first two nights, at one in the morning. We had an overall wonderful ride. C was an angel, sleeping most of it, but also looking out the window, being very active when we stopped at restaurants to eat, playing with her rattle, etc. She didn't cry once. She didn't eat as much as usual though and I therefore got a little engorged. She wasn't too happy to be awake to be changed and put into her bed at one in the morning, but fell asleep very fast and woke up only once, despite the pretty noticeable creaking of my bed. She even let me sleep in until 7:00 and played in her bed while I showered. Our "guest suite" had two rooms: a little parlor with a couch and a desk, and then the bedroom itself. It might have been bigger than P and my first apartment in NY! It was carpeted and so C felt comfortable honing her crawling skills. She can definitely get herself around now, using one foot to push and one knee for stability. Not the most efficient mode of transportation, but it allows her to go back to a sitting position quickly when a toy falls from the sky or when a light needs inspection. She is also very determined to learn how to crawl on her hands and feet. You know, the bear walk. My bootcamp trainer had us do that in circles for a while and my whole body ached for a week. Are babies masochistic? Maybe she wants toned legs. In any case, she can now raise herself onto her feed, but not quite move them in that position yet.
On Friday morning we went to Gethsemani, KY, where St. Thomas Merton lived. St. Thomas was a Cistercian monk, but also a Columbia alum, so good manners assert that we should feel a distinct interest for him. No, really, he was a pretty interesting dude. However, there was not much at the abbey other than a gift shop, a little movie about Cistercians and the chapel. The most naked, empty Catholic church I have ever seen. There is nothing on the white-washed walls, nothing on the ceiling, the ground is cement and even the organ, altar and tabernacle are as bare as can be. We also got a special permission to go and visit his burial site. Obviously, visitors are asked to keep silent everywhere but in the gift shop. C obeyed that command at about 80%. I was a little worried that they would ask me to leave, but nobody said anything.
We were back at the Dominican priory in Cincinnati for vespers after which we all went to dinner, followed by complines. It was a good day, but it ended with me incredibly engorged. It was very painful and I hadn't brought my pump, thinking it would be unnecessary. How wrong I was! We therefore stopped by a Walgreen where I bought a small hand pump. Now I have two of those and use them very rarely, but I don't think I would have been able to sleep otherwise. On Saturday, Br.G picked me up at the seminary at 6:15 (yes, am) so that C and I could attend lauds while our brave drivers would rest and sleep in. I must say that all the offices were truly beautiful. The brothers have very nice and warm voices, were singing without frills but with confidence. It made it easy and natural to pray with them. There was more hanging out after lauds during which something extraordinary happened. Another brother was chatting with Br.G and I and waving at C, who suddenly returned the gesture. I thought it was coincidental, but she repeated it a couple of times so that it was unmistakable. She waved. She's a genius. Now, ok, I don't think she knows what the movement means, she was just imitating, but still. Genius.
Then there was the actual Profession mass. It was a wonderful two hours. We happened to be sitting in the very front, and there was a family with four or five kids right behind us. C enjoyed that a lot, did a little sleeping and a little singing. The ceremony was beautiful, solemn and with something almost mystical. I was thankful for the privilege of attending it, for looking on it almost gave me the impression of invading these brothers' privacy. You might have had the same feeling at a wedding perhaps. The impression of being invited into something much much bigger than you, something to which you're not sure you belong?
That evening we drove to Zanesville where the Dominican priory at which we were staying was, wondered at the poverty of this town, had dinner and crashed. C slept pretty well, again, but the delightful sound of the church bells for the first morning mass woke us up. After mass and breakfast, Sunday was spent in an uneventful drive back.
During this weekend, C also had much time to practise new language skills since she was strapped in her car seat much of the time. She is now good at bah-bah's, tha-tha's and sometimes mah-mah's. No intentional words yet, of course, it's just experimentation at this point. But it will come soon!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Of Success and Victory...
...or absence thereof. Of course, I cried victory prematurely. C's nights have been all but restful. She has been waking up five to six times a night for the past three days! What's up with that? Maybe it's because she has discovered she could roam in her crib and uses that ability to the fullest. When she cries during the night and I enter the dark room, I never know where in her crib she will be. I have to pat around in search of limbs, then play a kind of physical puzzle: "if this is her left hand, given its angle, she's probably on her side and I should find another arm....Here!". Sometimes she's on her belly, sometimes on her back, sometimes sitting, sometimes on her hands and knees. She's occasionally managed to get a limb stuck between the bars of the crib too. Now, very smart people in books have told me that to increase time between night feedings, I should try to calm her down and put her back to sleep without nursing her. These smart peoples have not met my daughter. Not picking her up is not an option. If she sees me and I don't pick her up, her world collapses. I do not want social services to be alerted. So I pick her up and try to rock her. But she's strong now! She pushes herself so as to be able to get to my breast and tries suckling through my tank top. Yeah. Determined is one word for it. She does go back to sleep very easily after nursing though, so I'll stick to that for now, I think. Maybe she'll get used to her new bed, or learn to put herself back to sleep? She does a good job of putting herself to sleep for naps; I haven't needed to rock her for a month now. Who knows? She is also getting more mommy-attached, which might explain sleep problems too... In any case, I haven't thrown her out the window (or defenestrated her, for defenestration lovers) yet, and that is a testimony to something...The power of love, her cuteness, the presence of child guards in the windows? Always thought those were there to prevent kids from defenestrating themselves... Live and learn...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Sleeping Alone
Petite Puce has now spent two nights in her crib in her own room. Much hopes and expectations, as well as fears and worries had been put on that event. The first night, when she called at 3:45 am, I quickly (ok, well, you know, it was 3:45 am) computed that it had been 7.5 hours since we had put her in bed! Not unprecedented, but very welcome. That's until I actually picked her up to nurse her and realized that she was really toasty. She had had shots the day before and had been sleepy the whole previous afternoon as a result, and here was a fever. There goes mommy trying to find the ear thermometer, taking two bags situated more or less where said thermometer and its little cone things were supposed to be, going out of the room to turn on the lights, looking for the instructions to the thermometer among the pile of similar leaflets and "sneaking" back into the room to take C's temp. Mom then goes back out to read the results, tries to find the baby book because at 3:55am she can't remember what's considered a fever for an infant of 7-8 months and when she's supposed to panic and call the poor sleeping doctor. 100.4F is declared not enough to panic, so she goes back to bed, if not to sleep. In the morning, C's fever is a little worse (101.5F) so the doctor is called at a reasonable hour and reassures mommy. The little oven spent most of the day sleeping and somewhat unhappy, but by the evening, she had no more fever and was playing with daddy quite nicely. It was good to see that smile and those little laughing eyes, and to hear those giggles again.
Here comes night two of C sleeping in her own room, WITHOUT a fever this time. She woke up for the first time at 3:00am, more than 7 hours after going to sleep. It might be a little premature, but I'm very tempted to call it a success! Assignement: Toys or no toys in the crib? Discuss!
Here comes night two of C sleeping in her own room, WITHOUT a fever this time. She woke up for the first time at 3:00am, more than 7 hours after going to sleep. It might be a little premature, but I'm very tempted to call it a success! Assignement: Toys or no toys in the crib? Discuss!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Mobility
Mobility is the name of the game now. We retired the co-sleeper today, after finding C on all four at the end of it. Knowing that she already tries to pull herself up, it was too dangerous. She gets on her knees, pushes with her feet to a plank position, drops down and thus gains a few inches. She can also creeps on her belly by pushing with her toes. She can rotate and roll-over... No toes are safe from being chewed, she likes ours as much as hers! Yesterday she also got back to a sitting position from her stomach, in front of Nona and Dida. She likes an audience! We spent almost three weeks with Bon-Papa and Bonne-Maman in Quebec. It was a wonderful vacation. They were able to see C learn new tricks, improve her reach from the sitting position, become more social, engaging in "conversations" where she actually expects her interlocutor to answer back, start eating new things such as grapes, olives, madarins, etc. in her mesh feeder. We hiked near the chalet with me wearing her on my back while she looked at the path passing by, the tree leaves moving in the wind and the colorful flowers of the fields. We went to the Summer Festival to see Shilvi, a kid's singer, who fascinated C and made her squeal and squeal. There was also a toddler girl behind us who threw a tantrum. C seemed puzzled and distressed by it and even after the little girl recovered, C would glance in her direction every couple of minutes. She also had a blast with LA, a little one year old daughter of a friend of mine. They both wanted to touch each other's ears, eyes, noses, etc. C would very much have liked being able to follow LA who crawls like an Olympic sprinter, but she was stuck sitting, waving her arms and squealing. We skyped with Daddy who went back home after the first weekend and C seemed to recognize him. She stayed on her stomach and talked to him for a good twenty minutes. When we got back to the city and she saw her dad, she was ecstatic. Ever since (it's been almost two weeks) she laughs at everything he does, flirts with him by inclining her head and giving him a charming shy smile and babbles at him. When she wakes up in the morning, if she sees him she immediatly taps her feet, waves her arms and giggles. A lot is happening very fast, it's dizzying. I'm hesitant to still call C a baby...
Monday, July 13, 2009
From April to June
April brought us to the end of Lent. What a wonderful Holy Week, Triduum and Easter we had! I had C with me all the time! We went to all the services, Tenebrae etc., went to Adoration in the middle of the night on Holy Thursday, went to the three-hour-long Easter Vigil followed by the reception in the basement of the church followed by drinks at the Abbey Pub... I remember her blowing bubbles during the Good Friday service. It was a good reminder for me to remain down to Earth if I had had a tendency of becoming emotional. Not that the emotional is not good, but her humorous attitude helped me live the Triduum in a very different way. I knew I could not completly concentrate, I could not lose myself in prayer and cry, I could not think deep deep intellectual thoughts about Christ's gift to us. Instead, I had to be content just being there with my little one. And offering all my life to the Man dying for us, having no real penitence or recollection to offer. It was good, very good.
In May, for Mother's Day, we all went down to Annapolis. Grandma Harriett also made it there, which made the weekend extra-special. While there, in an unnecessary attempt at impressing her public, C adorned herself with two little teeth and rolled over a couple of times. Needless to say, said public was delighted. C also gained everybody's pity by having a little nasty cough, which got her some Motrin, a lot of attention and special nightime rocking. It quickly went away and in no way revented her from smiling and laughing. She was also pretty much sitting by herself by that time, although I would definitely not have left her sitting on the edge of a precipice. The frequency of something needing to be looked at making balance a secondary concern causing dramatic headplants was still far too great.
I don't remember exactly when she started squealing. I do remember though that for a day or two that's all we could hear. Every event of our daily life was punctuated by screams as high-pitched as physically possible. Sometimes they're so high-pitched I can't hear them. I'm pretty sure dogs do. The squeals are used to show excitment at moving leaves, joy at seeing a breast being uncovered, sadness at having, yet again, fallen unto one's back, irritation at being swaddled and more. Definitly an interesting change from C's previous monotone middle E tuned voice.
I'm also sad to report that Mr. Octopus got forgotten sometime during those weeks with the acqusition of a new friend, Cool Dude the Giraffe. After having even mastered the putting of the foot inside the orange ring of Mr. Octopus and shaking him thus, we were done. Cool Dude the Giraffe offers more possibilities of ear chewing, bell ringing, general noisy shaking and color admiring. We're still working on all of those.
Maybe this is also the place to report the start of our Mommy & Me yoga classes. I had two goals in mind when I went to the studio: first to get in better shape and second to meet other moms from the neighborhood. I think I can say that the first goal has been achieved, or is on its way. As to the second goal, I admit a complete defeat. I'm the only one in the class! C and I still have fun though, especially since she's been able to sit. Her favorite yoga poses are the forward folds where mommy's hair comes close enough to grab and pull.
In May, for Mother's Day, we all went down to Annapolis. Grandma Harriett also made it there, which made the weekend extra-special. While there, in an unnecessary attempt at impressing her public, C adorned herself with two little teeth and rolled over a couple of times. Needless to say, said public was delighted. C also gained everybody's pity by having a little nasty cough, which got her some Motrin, a lot of attention and special nightime rocking. It quickly went away and in no way revented her from smiling and laughing. She was also pretty much sitting by herself by that time, although I would definitely not have left her sitting on the edge of a precipice. The frequency of something needing to be looked at making balance a secondary concern causing dramatic headplants was still far too great.
I don't remember exactly when she started squealing. I do remember though that for a day or two that's all we could hear. Every event of our daily life was punctuated by screams as high-pitched as physically possible. Sometimes they're so high-pitched I can't hear them. I'm pretty sure dogs do. The squeals are used to show excitment at moving leaves, joy at seeing a breast being uncovered, sadness at having, yet again, fallen unto one's back, irritation at being swaddled and more. Definitly an interesting change from C's previous monotone middle E tuned voice.
I'm also sad to report that Mr. Octopus got forgotten sometime during those weeks with the acqusition of a new friend, Cool Dude the Giraffe. After having even mastered the putting of the foot inside the orange ring of Mr. Octopus and shaking him thus, we were done. Cool Dude the Giraffe offers more possibilities of ear chewing, bell ringing, general noisy shaking and color admiring. We're still working on all of those.
Maybe this is also the place to report the start of our Mommy & Me yoga classes. I had two goals in mind when I went to the studio: first to get in better shape and second to meet other moms from the neighborhood. I think I can say that the first goal has been achieved, or is on its way. As to the second goal, I admit a complete defeat. I'm the only one in the class! C and I still have fun though, especially since she's been able to sit. Her favorite yoga poses are the forward folds where mommy's hair comes close enough to grab and pull.
Friday, June 19, 2009
From December to March
Yes, this is a big leap, but I can't remain in the past forever! And so, here are memories from the first four months or so, "en vrac":
I remember Christmas, our first Christmas as our own family! We all went to midnight mass and hung out at Ford Hall drinking egg nog, hot chocolate and mint schnaps until very late... it was great! Paul and I had sushi on Christmas eve and pates, cheese and cold cuts on Christmas night. We even had our own little tree. Lovely! C behaved like a newborn through all this: she slept. We were trying to take pictures of her with her gifts under the tree, but they had to be pictures of her sleeping under the tree!
I also remember our ministry meetings on Tuesday morning at the rectory of Notre-Dame. C started by sleeping through them like she slept through everything, but little by little, it was harder to handle her. It became a little easier as I became more skilled at this whole breastfeeding thing. Thanks here to Constanza who will remain my breastfeeding idol! I was truly inspired by seeing her nursing R while walking around, talking to friends and scolding MG. That's multi-tasking for you!
After most of those ministry meetings, I would stop by the office to say hi to Sylvia who seems to appreciate C's visits a lot still. I especially remember C at 6 weeks cooing and smiling non-stop at Sylvia until she (Sylvia, not C) was crying.
Then there was California! We went to the bay area mainly to visit Walter, C's Great-Great-Grand-Father who is 101. What a special moment! He held her and she took his finger, to his great delight. You don't see a five generation bridge like that everyday... We took this opportunity to visit with Great-Grandma Harriett as well, who was delighted, as well, and with Tante Dominique, Oncle Christian and cousins. Carmen quickly found out how to make C burst out laughing, which she had just started doing. Kids somehow understand each other. Gabrielle seemed very intrigued by her little cousin and we had to keep reminding her to be gentle: "Tout doux Gabrielle, tout doux."
Finally, C's baptism. It was beautiful, of course, not because of anything we did, but because of the obvious abundance of grace. What could be more beautiful than God claiming my little one as His own? Many people made the trip and it was a very joyous feast!
Through these first three months, C slept great! She had an established 5+4 hours sleeping pattern until California where the schedule got a lot less regular. I suspect she started teething around that time too. The faucets opened and my little one, who had never even needed a bib before, started drooling and drooling. Between cradle scalp, eyes full of buggers and drool all over, she was a really cute baby!
I remember Christmas, our first Christmas as our own family! We all went to midnight mass and hung out at Ford Hall drinking egg nog, hot chocolate and mint schnaps until very late... it was great! Paul and I had sushi on Christmas eve and pates, cheese and cold cuts on Christmas night. We even had our own little tree. Lovely! C behaved like a newborn through all this: she slept. We were trying to take pictures of her with her gifts under the tree, but they had to be pictures of her sleeping under the tree!
I also remember our ministry meetings on Tuesday morning at the rectory of Notre-Dame. C started by sleeping through them like she slept through everything, but little by little, it was harder to handle her. It became a little easier as I became more skilled at this whole breastfeeding thing. Thanks here to Constanza who will remain my breastfeeding idol! I was truly inspired by seeing her nursing R while walking around, talking to friends and scolding MG. That's multi-tasking for you!
After most of those ministry meetings, I would stop by the office to say hi to Sylvia who seems to appreciate C's visits a lot still. I especially remember C at 6 weeks cooing and smiling non-stop at Sylvia until she (Sylvia, not C) was crying.
Then there was California! We went to the bay area mainly to visit Walter, C's Great-Great-Grand-Father who is 101. What a special moment! He held her and she took his finger, to his great delight. You don't see a five generation bridge like that everyday... We took this opportunity to visit with Great-Grandma Harriett as well, who was delighted, as well, and with Tante Dominique, Oncle Christian and cousins. Carmen quickly found out how to make C burst out laughing, which she had just started doing. Kids somehow understand each other. Gabrielle seemed very intrigued by her little cousin and we had to keep reminding her to be gentle: "Tout doux Gabrielle, tout doux."
Finally, C's baptism. It was beautiful, of course, not because of anything we did, but because of the obvious abundance of grace. What could be more beautiful than God claiming my little one as His own? Many people made the trip and it was a very joyous feast!
Through these first three months, C slept great! She had an established 5+4 hours sleeping pattern until California where the schedule got a lot less regular. I suspect she started teething around that time too. The faucets opened and my little one, who had never even needed a bib before, started drooling and drooling. Between cradle scalp, eyes full of buggers and drool all over, she was a really cute baby!
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