Since we have returned from our trip to Annapolis, C has not been the greatest sleeper. I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's because she's learning so much, maybe it's separation anxiety... Who knows? I have thought about every sleep technique I know: just picking her up and cuddling, putting her back down when she gets up (which she can now do easily), letting her cry for 3 minutes and going back to see her, then 5 minutes, then 7, etc., just plain letting her cry out... the problem is that I can't pick one! Right now, most often, she cries not when I put her down, but when I leave the room. Last night, I did the putting her back down technique for 30 minutes. It worked! And she never cried, because I never left. It was almost a game for her and actually amusing for me to watch. Of course, I remained very serious and avoided eye contact, which would really have made it into a game. She was really really tired and so would get onto all-four, crawl towards the crib rail and then collapse and rest her head for a second. Then she gets back up and pull herself to standing. I lay her back down. She takes a breather there, then gathers up her strength, rolls over and crawls to another rail, and so on. I really like the momentary collapses though, it's as if she's saying "this rail looks so high, I'm just going to rest my eyes a little, just a little..." Eventually she didn't get back up and I was able to sneak out to go watch the premiere of Grey's Anatomy, of which I had already missed 13 minutes. Ah, the sacrifices one has to make for a child. In the middle of the night, when she cried upon my departure from her room, I did not go back in to play the down game. I was too tired. Wishful thinking led me to wait for a moment in the hope that she would magically calm herself down. She did! Now, she probably wouldn't do that during the day, but at least I know that she can. An unforeseen happy consequence of C's lack of sleep is that P, good husband that he is, takes care of her in the morning from 6:30-8:00 and lets me sleep. I'm sure my feeling of gratitude is good for our marriage, but I have also noticed that C now reacts differently to him. I think that one-on-one time with her dad has made him really part of our family in her mind. Of course she loved him before, and showed it. She would always smiled when she saw him. But now there seems to be a sort of complicity between them. Yesterday, C and I were playing in the play yard when P entered the room. C giggled and fleed, crawling, already starting a game. She looked at him with a big grin and then crawled away as fast as she could again, giggling still. P picked her up and she immediately burst out laughing. It was really adorable. When I bring her into our bed in the morning, usually when I can't deal with her being awake yet but she can't deal with not being up yet, she now climbs us both. Up until now, she would only climb me, pull my hair, give me wet kisses, etc. while P slept blissfully. Now she does it to him too. She'll even put her little head down on his belly to rest a little before she starts using him as a drum again. It's beautiful!
One of these father-daughter mornings gave me a little heart attack though. P had been taking care of her while I snoozed and even managed to put her back in bed after she fell asleep in her high chair. She woke up sounding pretty happy at about 9:00 and I decided that I would try to grab breakfast before going to get her. She often plays in her crib for 20 minutes either before falling asleep or when she wakes up happy. All the while, I could hear her moving, probably pulling herself up and cruising along the rails of the crib. So when I finally went to get her, and saw that the drop side of the crib was down, I freaked a little. She was standing holding on to it, and it was lower than her waist!!! I don't blame P, it's really easy to forget and it's not that obvious when she's lying down, but we were very lucky that she didn't see something she wanted on the floor. Had she thrown her pacifier overboard the way she often does in play... Ooof, I don't want to think about it!
I had another heart attack earlier this week when our dear friend L was babysitting. I came back and we were chatting while C was playing in the yard. L took a step back and tripped on the yard fence. For a moment, she tried to catch her balance, while C was playing happily just under her... L finally fell in, I screamed... and nothing. L fell about an inch away from C, was apparently unhurt herself and so we just laughed in relief. Still... I think these two incidents were the first to really freeze my blood and send my imagination on an infinite loop of "what-ifs". I'm sure it will happen many more times!
On the developmental front, C is getting good enough at walking around coffee tables that a math professor, seeing her doing so in the math lounge, said: "I conjecture she will walk by ten months". If C does, it will be her first theorem, I guess. She'll be able to write a paper saying " I proved Prof. __'s conjecture!" Aaaaahh, mathematicians. C has recently mastered the going down from standing feat. No more boom on the tush! She bends her legs to squat and then sits. She's much happier with that! Especially since the Boom on the tush was often followed by a smaller, but more painful Boom of the head! She also really enjoys taking two objects in her hands and banging them together to make noise. She's started doing something between clapping and the sign for "more" when she is excited or wants something. She talks lots... Different consonants: B, D, G, M have appeared, but still only one vowel: A. She hasn't said mama or dada with intent yet. It will come! Maybe by the next post? She now opens boxes to find objects in them. I hide her pink Teddy Bear in the box, and she'll go open it to find him. She loves it if he then plays peekaboo and gives her kisses. That warrants much giggling. I have also filled a small box with a variety of things like measuring cups, a shoe, a bottle, etc. I'll open it very briefly to show her that there are things in it then casually leave it next to me. She'll quickly crawl over to open it herself and empty it of it's treasure. She remains very observant. She stops and watch other babies laugh or cry and respond to it appropriately. She'll observe toys move or make music, obviously trying to understand. When she can't, her favorite coping mechanism is avoidance. She has been doing that for a while now, maybe a month or two. I remember trying to get her to make bah-bah-bah sounds. She looked at me, move her mouth and then quickly find something else to pay attention to. She now does the same when there is a phenomenon that she doesn't understand. I wonder if she'll do the same with school assignments? It will be something to watch for!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Annapolis
For labor day, we all went to Annapolis to visit Nona and Dida. We had already been before in May for mother's day, but C was too young to care about such things as the puppies... Now she cares! A lot! Her first reaction was one of excitement, punctuated with her characteristic attempt at communication with babies and animals: hah. Of course, she was a little unsure at first, so she would stay close to me and pull away if Dixie tried to lick her. However, after dinner on Thursday, Dida started throwing cheerios at the dogs with C in his arms. The dogs were running down the length of the hallway to catch the treats. C first looked surprised and then, all of a sudden, burst out laughing. And I don't mean smiling, I mean a full out big throaty laugh! After that, the dogs were her friends, whether they wanted it or not! Beau was not feeling very well that weekend and therefore spent most of it avoiding the little monster trying to catch his tail. Dixie on the other hand seemed to feel very maternal and protective. She licked C who delighted in the tickle, let C pull herself up holding on to her, trying to catch her nose, etc. A very very well behaved dog!
The weekend was a very good one. We also hung out with Aunt K., Uncle N. and B. and ate much cheerios and Gerber cereal. She has become a complete cereal junkie. I don't mean the mushed kind, which we finally gave away. She just doesn't care for mush, unless she can spread it on the tray and on her face. But when they are solid, they are much sought after. It is that weekend that she started being demanding of her feeders. Before that, she had climbed on other mommies at playgroup in search of the cheerios bag, but had not yet asserted her right to being fed cheerios promptly the way she did it with Aunt K. As soon as some distraction slowed down the supply line, a ringing 'ah would come to rise the slacker (this is a distinct 'ah from the hah of communication). This has now been going on for a week! If not answered, the 'ah becomes louder, then more imperative, then there is banging on the table or the chair tray, then screams. My little angel has become a beast. I feel like the mother of a coke-head. We are trying to teach her to say "more" or "encore" accompanied by the sign for it. Yesterday, she actually did it! Well, ok, she was still in the middle of putting a fist full of cereal in her mouth, so I'm not sure whether she understands the meaning of the sign, but she definitely is practicing it. I think she'll soon get it; she should, with the amount of cheerios she eats a day! As long as we consistently do it ourselves before giving her more, we'll have a signing baby in no time.
On the mobility front, there is constant improvement. We received a super yard from neighbors and C quite enjoys cruising around the edge of it. Mommy can't go very far most of the time, but it still gives me a reprieve if I need to fold laundry or go to the bathroom. She pulls herself up very easily and wants to do it all the time. She'll take my hands, or someone else's if I'm not paying attention, to stand. She's not that good at taking steps yet, but is trying to let go of what she's holding on to stand by herself. She has also mostly abandoned her precrawl, where she kept a leg bent, usually in her skirts so that it would slide, and pushed with her other foot. She started moving like that so that she could easily sit back down. C always hated tummy time and her biggest obstacle to crawling at first was the fear of ending up on her tummy and being stuck there like a turtle on its back. She now crawls on all four like the babies in diaper commercials most of the time. She reverts to the weird one for short distances only.
She has been sleeping very badly for the past week, with stretches of at most 3 hours. Before this, she had been taking nice long nights of 6+6, 5+7. We don't know what is happening. I am afraid that my milk supply has diminished and that maybe she is hungry. I have been pumping less often with all our social engagements (we're quite the socialites of the 'hood now) and now when I do pump, I think I get less milk than I used too. I'm going to try to give her a bottle tonight after she stops nursing and see how that goes. If that helps, I might look into herbs to increase lactation and maybe even call our pediatrician and get domperidone.
The weekend was a very good one. We also hung out with Aunt K., Uncle N. and B. and ate much cheerios and Gerber cereal. She has become a complete cereal junkie. I don't mean the mushed kind, which we finally gave away. She just doesn't care for mush, unless she can spread it on the tray and on her face. But when they are solid, they are much sought after. It is that weekend that she started being demanding of her feeders. Before that, she had climbed on other mommies at playgroup in search of the cheerios bag, but had not yet asserted her right to being fed cheerios promptly the way she did it with Aunt K. As soon as some distraction slowed down the supply line, a ringing 'ah would come to rise the slacker (this is a distinct 'ah from the hah of communication). This has now been going on for a week! If not answered, the 'ah becomes louder, then more imperative, then there is banging on the table or the chair tray, then screams. My little angel has become a beast. I feel like the mother of a coke-head. We are trying to teach her to say "more" or "encore" accompanied by the sign for it. Yesterday, she actually did it! Well, ok, she was still in the middle of putting a fist full of cereal in her mouth, so I'm not sure whether she understands the meaning of the sign, but she definitely is practicing it. I think she'll soon get it; she should, with the amount of cheerios she eats a day! As long as we consistently do it ourselves before giving her more, we'll have a signing baby in no time.
On the mobility front, there is constant improvement. We received a super yard from neighbors and C quite enjoys cruising around the edge of it. Mommy can't go very far most of the time, but it still gives me a reprieve if I need to fold laundry or go to the bathroom. She pulls herself up very easily and wants to do it all the time. She'll take my hands, or someone else's if I'm not paying attention, to stand. She's not that good at taking steps yet, but is trying to let go of what she's holding on to stand by herself. She has also mostly abandoned her precrawl, where she kept a leg bent, usually in her skirts so that it would slide, and pushed with her other foot. She started moving like that so that she could easily sit back down. C always hated tummy time and her biggest obstacle to crawling at first was the fear of ending up on her tummy and being stuck there like a turtle on its back. She now crawls on all four like the babies in diaper commercials most of the time. She reverts to the weird one for short distances only.
She has been sleeping very badly for the past week, with stretches of at most 3 hours. Before this, she had been taking nice long nights of 6+6, 5+7. We don't know what is happening. I am afraid that my milk supply has diminished and that maybe she is hungry. I have been pumping less often with all our social engagements (we're quite the socialites of the 'hood now) and now when I do pump, I think I get less milk than I used too. I'm going to try to give her a bottle tonight after she stops nursing and see how that goes. If that helps, I might look into herbs to increase lactation and maybe even call our pediatrician and get domperidone.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Sleeping is relative. Music is optional.
Well, yes, you expected this. It could not go on so well like that forever, you say.
Yesterday was Jon and Meghan's wedding. It was probably one of the most beautiful ceremonies I have attended, including P and my own wedding. We were nowhere nearly as wise and prepared for marriage when we embarked upon this delightful adventure. However, despite all the truth and beauty and solemnity of the day, C was restless. She had a small morning nap and none other. Slept for 30 minutes during the wedding and another 30 during the reception. Not enough. She was in a good mood (read trying to leap off my arms, grabbing necklace and earrings, biting my shoulder, flirting with people behind me and blowing bubbles into my dress) as long as she was in my arms, but she would scream treason as soon as anyone else tried to hold her. Exception for her Godmother. She has curly hair, that's cool enough. So, when C woke up at 1:00am after going to bed at midnight, I thought she was still riled up. At 2:00, I just bemoaned her restlessness. At 3:00, I wasn't thinking anything at all. At 4:30 I hoped that perhaps that was it for that night. At 6:30, I wished I was dead and at 8:00, I sent daddy. Why? Why was she waking up so often all of a sudden? Was it just the excitement of the previous day? Was she cold? Annoyed by her sleeper? (it had been in the laundry for the past couple of nights, so she had simply slept in her pj's).
Then came the explanation. There is, in her crib, a musical toy. It predates her actually sleeping in her crib. It's from the good old times when she would use her crib only to play in, while mommy went to the bathroom or got a glass of water. This wonderful Baby Einstein toy, which plays real classical music, interpreted by real toy musical instrument and is really truly annoying to me, at least, has three different settings. "Off" is my favorite one. Then there is the "push the button and I'll play an excerpt of Mozart's 40th" setting. I like control; that's still ok. The third setting though, is where the peace and calm of our abode are shattered. It is the "baby makes the toy move and toy will play a song" mode. Someone who shall remain nameless and who took care of C for an hour on Saturday put it on mode three. For fun. And did not put it back to preferred mode one. And so, tonight, when C woke up for no good reason, I thought I heard something strange in the monitor. Something like baby toys trying to render emotionally deep and complex masterpieces. Could that be? It was. And an hour later, it was again. Now, I would love for C to learn how to sleep through excruciating musical concerts being performed an inch from her ear, but I also like my own sanity, so I bravely went into the dark room and turned the thing to mode one or two. I'm not sure which, but it is not on mode three anymore, I guarantee you. If I hear Mozart's 40th at two in the morning, it will be time to call the asylum. Barring that, maybe I'll sleep tonight. Mozart-less.
Yesterday was Jon and Meghan's wedding. It was probably one of the most beautiful ceremonies I have attended, including P and my own wedding. We were nowhere nearly as wise and prepared for marriage when we embarked upon this delightful adventure. However, despite all the truth and beauty and solemnity of the day, C was restless. She had a small morning nap and none other. Slept for 30 minutes during the wedding and another 30 during the reception. Not enough. She was in a good mood (read trying to leap off my arms, grabbing necklace and earrings, biting my shoulder, flirting with people behind me and blowing bubbles into my dress) as long as she was in my arms, but she would scream treason as soon as anyone else tried to hold her. Exception for her Godmother. She has curly hair, that's cool enough. So, when C woke up at 1:00am after going to bed at midnight, I thought she was still riled up. At 2:00, I just bemoaned her restlessness. At 3:00, I wasn't thinking anything at all. At 4:30 I hoped that perhaps that was it for that night. At 6:30, I wished I was dead and at 8:00, I sent daddy. Why? Why was she waking up so often all of a sudden? Was it just the excitement of the previous day? Was she cold? Annoyed by her sleeper? (it had been in the laundry for the past couple of nights, so she had simply slept in her pj's).
Then came the explanation. There is, in her crib, a musical toy. It predates her actually sleeping in her crib. It's from the good old times when she would use her crib only to play in, while mommy went to the bathroom or got a glass of water. This wonderful Baby Einstein toy, which plays real classical music, interpreted by real toy musical instrument and is really truly annoying to me, at least, has three different settings. "Off" is my favorite one. Then there is the "push the button and I'll play an excerpt of Mozart's 40th" setting. I like control; that's still ok. The third setting though, is where the peace and calm of our abode are shattered. It is the "baby makes the toy move and toy will play a song" mode. Someone who shall remain nameless and who took care of C for an hour on Saturday put it on mode three. For fun. And did not put it back to preferred mode one. And so, tonight, when C woke up for no good reason, I thought I heard something strange in the monitor. Something like baby toys trying to render emotionally deep and complex masterpieces. Could that be? It was. And an hour later, it was again. Now, I would love for C to learn how to sleep through excruciating musical concerts being performed an inch from her ear, but I also like my own sanity, so I bravely went into the dark room and turned the thing to mode one or two. I'm not sure which, but it is not on mode three anymore, I guarantee you. If I hear Mozart's 40th at two in the morning, it will be time to call the asylum. Barring that, maybe I'll sleep tonight. Mozart-less.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Someone is sleeping...
Can you guess who? Last week was a pretty hard one. Between trying to recover from our trip to Cincinnati, C being a little sick, a new babysitter, various meetings and birthday parties, we were kept busy and on the go the whole week. And it was HOT. Making-my-heart-long -for-those-20-below-zero-Quebec-winter-nights hot. These engagements were all a lot of fun, but the week was taxing on our petite puce. On us too, but who thinks about that anymore. Saturday night, C woke up at 1:30 after sleeping for 5 hours. On the "good" side of normal. When I leave our room to go to hers, I always lower the volume of the monitor so that daddy won't hear her cry, or me sing or anything else that might go on in C's room as I nurse her and put her back to bed. Then I suddenly woke up at 7:00, realizing that she hadn't woken up between 5:30 and 6:00 as usual. I jumped on the monitor and raised the volume. I did that so fast that now I don't know whether I really had forgotten to turn it back up or whether it had been up the whole time. I was confused, but tired enough that I just went back to sleep. C finally woke up at about 8:00. That's a really really good night. I still wonder whether we unconsciously let her "cry it out" because we couldn't hear her. She was happy in the morning, so in either case there shouldn't be any permanent damage.
Yesterday we finally came back home after spending the afternoon with friends, had a quiet dinner and then played with C in her room. She finally realized that the bars of her crib were ideal for pulling herself up. She can even let go of one hand now! She pulls herself up, or tries to, on everything! From our legs, to her bouncer, to the wobbly workout plastic pillow. She also loves to use her pacifier to explore. She bangs it on various surfaces to see what sound it makes, use it to "paint" things with drool (mmmm) and tries to hold on to it as she crawls and stands.
She went to bed very easily at 8:30, her daddy at 9:30 and myself at 10:30 after pumping, which turned out to be a very good idea. I had been in bed for about five minutes when I heard her whine. I got back up, went to her room and opened the door. Nothing. Not a sound, not a movement. I waited a little bit and went back to bed. I was awakened at 1:30 by a little cry again. This time I went to her door but didn't open it, and listened. No sound. I went back to bed. Finally, at 5:00 when she whined again I just went in and nursed her, knowing that she wouldn't make it through morning mass otherwise. She might have slept through that one too though. Still, that's a full night! 8:30 to 5:00! Now, this doesn't mean that we slept well. I don't know why daddy didn't, but I kept wondering whether she was crying and I couldn't hear her. I checked that the monitor was on at least fifteen times and every sound daddy made while sleeping woke me up. This night was in fact much worse than some nights when she cried every 2-3 hours. However, now that she's done it, if she ever does it again I should be calmer and sleep better. Perhaps...
Yesterday we finally came back home after spending the afternoon with friends, had a quiet dinner and then played with C in her room. She finally realized that the bars of her crib were ideal for pulling herself up. She can even let go of one hand now! She pulls herself up, or tries to, on everything! From our legs, to her bouncer, to the wobbly workout plastic pillow. She also loves to use her pacifier to explore. She bangs it on various surfaces to see what sound it makes, use it to "paint" things with drool (mmmm) and tries to hold on to it as she crawls and stands.
She went to bed very easily at 8:30, her daddy at 9:30 and myself at 10:30 after pumping, which turned out to be a very good idea. I had been in bed for about five minutes when I heard her whine. I got back up, went to her room and opened the door. Nothing. Not a sound, not a movement. I waited a little bit and went back to bed. I was awakened at 1:30 by a little cry again. This time I went to her door but didn't open it, and listened. No sound. I went back to bed. Finally, at 5:00 when she whined again I just went in and nursed her, knowing that she wouldn't make it through morning mass otherwise. She might have slept through that one too though. Still, that's a full night! 8:30 to 5:00! Now, this doesn't mean that we slept well. I don't know why daddy didn't, but I kept wondering whether she was crying and I couldn't hear her. I checked that the monitor was on at least fifteen times and every sound daddy made while sleeping woke me up. This night was in fact much worse than some nights when she cried every 2-3 hours. However, now that she's done it, if she ever does it again I should be calmer and sleep better. Perhaps...
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sick and Cuddly
Am I the only mom out there who actually enjoys a sick baby?
I know, this sounds bad, but hear me out. C is a little feverish and congested, nothing to be too worried about. It's just enough to make her tired and cuddly, just enough to force me to slow down and take care of her. She doesn't want to jump out of my arms as usual, doesn't squeal or shriek, simply she rests her little tired head on my breast and closes her eyes when she's done nursing. Soon enough the fever will be gone and she will want to crawl and grab that kleenex I left on the floor, climb on my not-yet-unpacked suitcase and laugh hysterically. I can't wait. But in the meantime, it's quiet here, and I enjoy the cuddles.
I know, this sounds bad, but hear me out. C is a little feverish and congested, nothing to be too worried about. It's just enough to make her tired and cuddly, just enough to force me to slow down and take care of her. She doesn't want to jump out of my arms as usual, doesn't squeal or shriek, simply she rests her little tired head on my breast and closes her eyes when she's done nursing. Soon enough the fever will be gone and she will want to crawl and grab that kleenex I left on the floor, climb on my not-yet-unpacked suitcase and laugh hysterically. I can't wait. But in the meantime, it's quiet here, and I enjoy the cuddles.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Ohio
This past weekend we did something I never would have believed I would be doing with an eight month old: we drove to Cincinnati. Yes, you are correct, it is a eleven hour drive, without stops. With appropriate breaks for lunch and dinner, nursing, gas, water and bathroom, it's more around fifteen hours. It was for a good reason, though: Br. G's first vows into the Dominican Order.
And so we left the city on Thursday morning, Fr.J, L, C and I. We finally arrived at the Cincinnati seminary, where we were to stay the first two nights, at one in the morning. We had an overall wonderful ride. C was an angel, sleeping most of it, but also looking out the window, being very active when we stopped at restaurants to eat, playing with her rattle, etc. She didn't cry once. She didn't eat as much as usual though and I therefore got a little engorged. She wasn't too happy to be awake to be changed and put into her bed at one in the morning, but fell asleep very fast and woke up only once, despite the pretty noticeable creaking of my bed. She even let me sleep in until 7:00 and played in her bed while I showered. Our "guest suite" had two rooms: a little parlor with a couch and a desk, and then the bedroom itself. It might have been bigger than P and my first apartment in NY! It was carpeted and so C felt comfortable honing her crawling skills. She can definitely get herself around now, using one foot to push and one knee for stability. Not the most efficient mode of transportation, but it allows her to go back to a sitting position quickly when a toy falls from the sky or when a light needs inspection. She is also very determined to learn how to crawl on her hands and feet. You know, the bear walk. My bootcamp trainer had us do that in circles for a while and my whole body ached for a week. Are babies masochistic? Maybe she wants toned legs. In any case, she can now raise herself onto her feed, but not quite move them in that position yet.
On Friday morning we went to Gethsemani, KY, where St. Thomas Merton lived. St. Thomas was a Cistercian monk, but also a Columbia alum, so good manners assert that we should feel a distinct interest for him. No, really, he was a pretty interesting dude. However, there was not much at the abbey other than a gift shop, a little movie about Cistercians and the chapel. The most naked, empty Catholic church I have ever seen. There is nothing on the white-washed walls, nothing on the ceiling, the ground is cement and even the organ, altar and tabernacle are as bare as can be. We also got a special permission to go and visit his burial site. Obviously, visitors are asked to keep silent everywhere but in the gift shop. C obeyed that command at about 80%. I was a little worried that they would ask me to leave, but nobody said anything.
We were back at the Dominican priory in Cincinnati for vespers after which we all went to dinner, followed by complines. It was a good day, but it ended with me incredibly engorged. It was very painful and I hadn't brought my pump, thinking it would be unnecessary. How wrong I was! We therefore stopped by a Walgreen where I bought a small hand pump. Now I have two of those and use them very rarely, but I don't think I would have been able to sleep otherwise. On Saturday, Br.G picked me up at the seminary at 6:15 (yes, am) so that C and I could attend lauds while our brave drivers would rest and sleep in. I must say that all the offices were truly beautiful. The brothers have very nice and warm voices, were singing without frills but with confidence. It made it easy and natural to pray with them. There was more hanging out after lauds during which something extraordinary happened. Another brother was chatting with Br.G and I and waving at C, who suddenly returned the gesture. I thought it was coincidental, but she repeated it a couple of times so that it was unmistakable. She waved. She's a genius. Now, ok, I don't think she knows what the movement means, she was just imitating, but still. Genius.
Then there was the actual Profession mass. It was a wonderful two hours. We happened to be sitting in the very front, and there was a family with four or five kids right behind us. C enjoyed that a lot, did a little sleeping and a little singing. The ceremony was beautiful, solemn and with something almost mystical. I was thankful for the privilege of attending it, for looking on it almost gave me the impression of invading these brothers' privacy. You might have had the same feeling at a wedding perhaps. The impression of being invited into something much much bigger than you, something to which you're not sure you belong?
That evening we drove to Zanesville where the Dominican priory at which we were staying was, wondered at the poverty of this town, had dinner and crashed. C slept pretty well, again, but the delightful sound of the church bells for the first morning mass woke us up. After mass and breakfast, Sunday was spent in an uneventful drive back.
During this weekend, C also had much time to practise new language skills since she was strapped in her car seat much of the time. She is now good at bah-bah's, tha-tha's and sometimes mah-mah's. No intentional words yet, of course, it's just experimentation at this point. But it will come soon!
And so we left the city on Thursday morning, Fr.J, L, C and I. We finally arrived at the Cincinnati seminary, where we were to stay the first two nights, at one in the morning. We had an overall wonderful ride. C was an angel, sleeping most of it, but also looking out the window, being very active when we stopped at restaurants to eat, playing with her rattle, etc. She didn't cry once. She didn't eat as much as usual though and I therefore got a little engorged. She wasn't too happy to be awake to be changed and put into her bed at one in the morning, but fell asleep very fast and woke up only once, despite the pretty noticeable creaking of my bed. She even let me sleep in until 7:00 and played in her bed while I showered. Our "guest suite" had two rooms: a little parlor with a couch and a desk, and then the bedroom itself. It might have been bigger than P and my first apartment in NY! It was carpeted and so C felt comfortable honing her crawling skills. She can definitely get herself around now, using one foot to push and one knee for stability. Not the most efficient mode of transportation, but it allows her to go back to a sitting position quickly when a toy falls from the sky or when a light needs inspection. She is also very determined to learn how to crawl on her hands and feet. You know, the bear walk. My bootcamp trainer had us do that in circles for a while and my whole body ached for a week. Are babies masochistic? Maybe she wants toned legs. In any case, she can now raise herself onto her feed, but not quite move them in that position yet.
On Friday morning we went to Gethsemani, KY, where St. Thomas Merton lived. St. Thomas was a Cistercian monk, but also a Columbia alum, so good manners assert that we should feel a distinct interest for him. No, really, he was a pretty interesting dude. However, there was not much at the abbey other than a gift shop, a little movie about Cistercians and the chapel. The most naked, empty Catholic church I have ever seen. There is nothing on the white-washed walls, nothing on the ceiling, the ground is cement and even the organ, altar and tabernacle are as bare as can be. We also got a special permission to go and visit his burial site. Obviously, visitors are asked to keep silent everywhere but in the gift shop. C obeyed that command at about 80%. I was a little worried that they would ask me to leave, but nobody said anything.
We were back at the Dominican priory in Cincinnati for vespers after which we all went to dinner, followed by complines. It was a good day, but it ended with me incredibly engorged. It was very painful and I hadn't brought my pump, thinking it would be unnecessary. How wrong I was! We therefore stopped by a Walgreen where I bought a small hand pump. Now I have two of those and use them very rarely, but I don't think I would have been able to sleep otherwise. On Saturday, Br.G picked me up at the seminary at 6:15 (yes, am) so that C and I could attend lauds while our brave drivers would rest and sleep in. I must say that all the offices were truly beautiful. The brothers have very nice and warm voices, were singing without frills but with confidence. It made it easy and natural to pray with them. There was more hanging out after lauds during which something extraordinary happened. Another brother was chatting with Br.G and I and waving at C, who suddenly returned the gesture. I thought it was coincidental, but she repeated it a couple of times so that it was unmistakable. She waved. She's a genius. Now, ok, I don't think she knows what the movement means, she was just imitating, but still. Genius.
Then there was the actual Profession mass. It was a wonderful two hours. We happened to be sitting in the very front, and there was a family with four or five kids right behind us. C enjoyed that a lot, did a little sleeping and a little singing. The ceremony was beautiful, solemn and with something almost mystical. I was thankful for the privilege of attending it, for looking on it almost gave me the impression of invading these brothers' privacy. You might have had the same feeling at a wedding perhaps. The impression of being invited into something much much bigger than you, something to which you're not sure you belong?
That evening we drove to Zanesville where the Dominican priory at which we were staying was, wondered at the poverty of this town, had dinner and crashed. C slept pretty well, again, but the delightful sound of the church bells for the first morning mass woke us up. After mass and breakfast, Sunday was spent in an uneventful drive back.
During this weekend, C also had much time to practise new language skills since she was strapped in her car seat much of the time. She is now good at bah-bah's, tha-tha's and sometimes mah-mah's. No intentional words yet, of course, it's just experimentation at this point. But it will come soon!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Of Success and Victory...
...or absence thereof. Of course, I cried victory prematurely. C's nights have been all but restful. She has been waking up five to six times a night for the past three days! What's up with that? Maybe it's because she has discovered she could roam in her crib and uses that ability to the fullest. When she cries during the night and I enter the dark room, I never know where in her crib she will be. I have to pat around in search of limbs, then play a kind of physical puzzle: "if this is her left hand, given its angle, she's probably on her side and I should find another arm....Here!". Sometimes she's on her belly, sometimes on her back, sometimes sitting, sometimes on her hands and knees. She's occasionally managed to get a limb stuck between the bars of the crib too. Now, very smart people in books have told me that to increase time between night feedings, I should try to calm her down and put her back to sleep without nursing her. These smart peoples have not met my daughter. Not picking her up is not an option. If she sees me and I don't pick her up, her world collapses. I do not want social services to be alerted. So I pick her up and try to rock her. But she's strong now! She pushes herself so as to be able to get to my breast and tries suckling through my tank top. Yeah. Determined is one word for it. She does go back to sleep very easily after nursing though, so I'll stick to that for now, I think. Maybe she'll get used to her new bed, or learn to put herself back to sleep? She does a good job of putting herself to sleep for naps; I haven't needed to rock her for a month now. Who knows? She is also getting more mommy-attached, which might explain sleep problems too... In any case, I haven't thrown her out the window (or defenestrated her, for defenestration lovers) yet, and that is a testimony to something...The power of love, her cuteness, the presence of child guards in the windows? Always thought those were there to prevent kids from defenestrating themselves... Live and learn...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)