Sleeping is relative. Music is optional.

Well, yes, you expected this. It could not go on so well like that forever, you say.
Yesterday was Jon and Meghan's wedding. It was probably one of the most beautiful ceremonies I have attended, including P and my own wedding. We were nowhere nearly as wise and prepared for marriage when we embarked upon this delightful adventure. However, despite all the truth and beauty and solemnity of the day, C was restless. She had a small morning nap and none other. Slept for 30 minutes during the wedding and another 30 during the reception. Not enough. She was in a good mood (read trying to leap off my arms, grabbing necklace and earrings, biting my shoulder, flirting with people behind me and blowing bubbles into my dress) as long as she was in my arms, but she would scream treason as soon as anyone else tried to hold her. Exception for her Godmother. She has curly hair, that's cool enough. So, when C woke up at 1:00am after going to bed at midnight, I thought she was still riled up. At 2:00, I just bemoaned her restlessness. At 3:00, I wasn't thinking anything at all. At 4:30 I hoped that perhaps that was it for that night. At 6:30, I wished I was dead and at 8:00, I sent daddy. Why? Why was she waking up so often all of a sudden? Was it just the excitement of the previous day? Was she cold? Annoyed by her sleeper? (it had been in the laundry for the past couple of nights, so she had simply slept in her pj's).
Then came the explanation. There is, in her crib, a musical toy. It predates her actually sleeping in her crib. It's from the good old times when she would use her crib only to play in, while mommy went to the bathroom or got a glass of water. This wonderful Baby Einstein toy, which plays real classical music, interpreted by real toy musical instrument and is really truly annoying to me, at least, has three different settings. "Off" is my favorite one. Then there is the "push the button and I'll play an excerpt of Mozart's 40th" setting. I like control; that's still ok. The third setting though, is where the peace and calm of our abode are shattered. It is the "baby makes the toy move and toy will play a song" mode. Someone who shall remain nameless and who took care of C for an hour on Saturday put it on mode three. For fun. And did not put it back to preferred mode one. And so, tonight, when C woke up for no good reason, I thought I heard something strange in the monitor. Something like baby toys trying to render emotionally deep and complex masterpieces. Could that be? It was. And an hour later, it was again. Now, I would love for C to learn how to sleep through excruciating musical concerts being performed an inch from her ear, but I also like my own sanity, so I bravely went into the dark room and turned the thing to mode one or two. I'm not sure which, but it is not on mode three anymore, I guarantee you. If I hear Mozart's 40th at two in the morning, it will be time to call the asylum. Barring that, maybe I'll sleep tonight. Mozart-less.

Someone is sleeping...

Can you guess who? Last week was a pretty hard one. Between trying to recover from our trip to Cincinnati, C being a little sick, a new babysitter, various meetings and birthday parties, we were kept busy and on the go the whole week. And it was HOT. Making-my-heart-long -for-those-20-below-zero-Quebec-winter-nights hot. These engagements were all a lot of fun, but the week was taxing on our petite puce. On us too, but who thinks about that anymore. Saturday night, C woke up at 1:30 after sleeping for 5 hours. On the "good" side of normal. When I leave our room to go to hers, I always lower the volume of the monitor so that daddy won't hear her cry, or me sing or anything else that might go on in C's room as I nurse her and put her back to bed. Then I suddenly woke up at 7:00, realizing that she hadn't woken up between 5:30 and 6:00 as usual. I jumped on the monitor and raised the volume. I did that so fast that now I don't know whether I really had forgotten to turn it back up or whether it had been up the whole time. I was confused, but tired enough that I just went back to sleep. C finally woke up at about 8:00. That's a really really good night. I still wonder whether we unconsciously let her "cry it out" because we couldn't hear her. She was happy in the morning, so in either case there shouldn't be any permanent damage.
Yesterday we finally came back home after spending the afternoon with friends, had a quiet dinner and then played with C in her room. She finally realized that the bars of her crib were ideal for pulling herself up. She can even let go of one hand now! She pulls herself up, or tries to, on everything! From our legs, to her bouncer, to the wobbly workout plastic pillow. She also loves to use her pacifier to explore. She bangs it on various surfaces to see what sound it makes, use it to "paint" things with drool (mmmm) and tries to hold on to it as she crawls and stands.
She went to bed very easily at 8:30, her daddy at 9:30 and myself at 10:30 after pumping, which turned out to be a very good idea. I had been in bed for about five minutes when I heard her whine. I got back up, went to her room and opened the door. Nothing. Not a sound, not a movement. I waited a little bit and went back to bed. I was awakened at 1:30 by a little cry again. This time I went to her door but didn't open it, and listened. No sound. I went back to bed. Finally, at 5:00 when she whined again I just went in and nursed her, knowing that she wouldn't make it through morning mass otherwise. She might have slept through that one too though. Still, that's a full night! 8:30 to 5:00! Now, this doesn't mean that we slept well. I don't know why daddy didn't, but I kept wondering whether she was crying and I couldn't hear her. I checked that the monitor was on at least fifteen times and every sound daddy made while sleeping woke me up. This night was in fact much worse than some nights when she cried every 2-3 hours. However, now that she's done it, if she ever does it again I should be calmer and sleep better. Perhaps...

Sick and Cuddly

Am I the only mom out there who actually enjoys a sick baby?
I know, this sounds bad, but hear me out. C is a little feverish and congested, nothing to be too worried about. It's just enough to make her tired and cuddly, just enough to force me to slow down and take care of her. She doesn't want to jump out of my arms as usual, doesn't squeal or shriek, simply she rests her little tired head on my breast and closes her eyes when she's done nursing. Soon enough the fever will be gone and she will want to crawl and grab that kleenex I left on the floor, climb on my not-yet-unpacked suitcase and laugh hysterically. I can't wait. But in the meantime, it's quiet here, and I enjoy the cuddles.

Ohio

This past weekend we did something I never would have believed I would be doing with an eight month old: we drove to Cincinnati. Yes, you are correct, it is a eleven hour drive, without stops. With appropriate breaks for lunch and dinner, nursing, gas, water and bathroom, it's more around fifteen hours. It was for a good reason, though: Br. G's first vows into the Dominican Order.
And so we left the city on Thursday morning, Fr.J, L, C and I. We finally arrived at the Cincinnati seminary, where we were to stay the first two nights, at one in the morning. We had an overall wonderful ride. C was an angel, sleeping most of it, but also looking out the window, being very active when we stopped at restaurants to eat, playing with her rattle, etc. She didn't cry once. She didn't eat as much as usual though and I therefore got a little engorged. She wasn't too happy to be awake to be changed and put into her bed at one in the morning, but fell asleep very fast and woke up only once, despite the pretty noticeable creaking of my bed. She even let me sleep in until 7:00 and played in her bed while I showered. Our "guest suite" had two rooms: a little parlor with a couch and a desk, and then the bedroom itself. It might have been bigger than P and my first apartment in NY! It was carpeted and so C felt comfortable honing her crawling skills. She can definitely get herself around now, using one foot to push and one knee for stability. Not the most efficient mode of transportation, but it allows her to go back to a sitting position quickly when a toy falls from the sky or when a light needs inspection. She is also very determined to learn how to crawl on her hands and feet. You know, the bear walk. My bootcamp trainer had us do that in circles for a while and my whole body ached for a week. Are babies masochistic? Maybe she wants toned legs. In any case, she can now raise herself onto her feed, but not quite move them in that position yet.
On Friday morning we went to Gethsemani, KY, where St. Thomas Merton lived. St. Thomas was a Cistercian monk, but also a Columbia alum, so good manners assert that we should feel a distinct interest for him. No, really, he was a pretty interesting dude. However, there was not much at the abbey other than a gift shop, a little movie about Cistercians and the chapel. The most naked, empty Catholic church I have ever seen. There is nothing on the white-washed walls, nothing on the ceiling, the ground is cement and even the organ, altar and tabernacle are as bare as can be. We also got a special permission to go and visit his burial site. Obviously, visitors are asked to keep silent everywhere but in the gift shop. C obeyed that command at about 80%. I was a little worried that they would ask me to leave, but nobody said anything.
We were back at the Dominican priory in Cincinnati for vespers after which we all went to dinner, followed by complines. It was a good day, but it ended with me incredibly engorged. It was very painful and I hadn't brought my pump, thinking it would be unnecessary. How wrong I was! We therefore stopped by a Walgreen where I bought a small hand pump. Now I have two of those and use them very rarely, but I don't think I would have been able to sleep otherwise. On Saturday, Br.G picked me up at the seminary at 6:15 (yes, am) so that C and I could attend lauds while our brave drivers would rest and sleep in. I must say that all the offices were truly beautiful. The brothers have very nice and warm voices, were singing without frills but with confidence. It made it easy and natural to pray with them. There was more hanging out after lauds during which something extraordinary happened. Another brother was chatting with Br.G and I and waving at C, who suddenly returned the gesture. I thought it was coincidental, but she repeated it a couple of times so that it was unmistakable. She waved. She's a genius. Now, ok, I don't think she knows what the movement means, she was just imitating, but still. Genius.
Then there was the actual Profession mass. It was a wonderful two hours. We happened to be sitting in the very front, and there was a family with four or five kids right behind us. C enjoyed that a lot, did a little sleeping and a little singing. The ceremony was beautiful, solemn and with something almost mystical. I was thankful for the privilege of attending it, for looking on it almost gave me the impression of invading these brothers' privacy. You might have had the same feeling at a wedding perhaps. The impression of being invited into something much much bigger than you, something to which you're not sure you belong?
That evening we drove to Zanesville where the Dominican priory at which we were staying was, wondered at the poverty of this town, had dinner and crashed. C slept pretty well, again, but the delightful sound of the church bells for the first morning mass woke us up. After mass and breakfast, Sunday was spent in an uneventful drive back.
During this weekend, C also had much time to practise new language skills since she was strapped in her car seat much of the time. She is now good at bah-bah's, tha-tha's and sometimes mah-mah's. No intentional words yet, of course, it's just experimentation at this point. But it will come soon!

Of Success and Victory...

...or absence thereof. Of course, I cried victory prematurely. C's nights have been all but restful. She has been waking up five to six times a night for the past three days! What's up with that? Maybe it's because she has discovered she could roam in her crib and uses that ability to the fullest. When she cries during the night and I enter the dark room, I never know where in her crib she will be. I have to pat around in search of limbs, then play a kind of physical puzzle: "if this is her left hand, given its angle, she's probably on her side and I should find another arm....Here!". Sometimes she's on her belly, sometimes on her back, sometimes sitting, sometimes on her hands and knees. She's occasionally managed to get a limb stuck between the bars of the crib too. Now, very smart people in books have told me that to increase time between night feedings, I should try to calm her down and put her back to sleep without nursing her. These smart peoples have not met my daughter. Not picking her up is not an option. If she sees me and I don't pick her up, her world collapses. I do not want social services to be alerted. So I pick her up and try to rock her. But she's strong now! She pushes herself so as to be able to get to my breast and tries suckling through my tank top. Yeah. Determined is one word for it. She does go back to sleep very easily after nursing though, so I'll stick to that for now, I think. Maybe she'll get used to her new bed, or learn to put herself back to sleep? She does a good job of putting herself to sleep for naps; I haven't needed to rock her for a month now. Who knows? She is also getting more mommy-attached, which might explain sleep problems too... In any case, I haven't thrown her out the window (or defenestrated her, for defenestration lovers) yet, and that is a testimony to something...The power of love, her cuteness, the presence of child guards in the windows? Always thought those were there to prevent kids from defenestrating themselves... Live and learn...

Sleeping Alone

Petite Puce has now spent two nights in her crib in her own room. Much hopes and expectations, as well as fears and worries had been put on that event. The first night, when she called at 3:45 am, I quickly (ok, well, you know, it was 3:45 am) computed that it had been 7.5 hours since we had put her in bed! Not unprecedented, but very welcome. That's until I actually picked her up to nurse her and realized that she was really toasty. She had had shots the day before and had been sleepy the whole previous afternoon as a result, and here was a fever. There goes mommy trying to find the ear thermometer, taking two bags situated more or less where said thermometer and its little cone things were supposed to be, going out of the room to turn on the lights, looking for the instructions to the thermometer among the pile of similar leaflets and "sneaking" back into the room to take C's temp. Mom then goes back out to read the results, tries to find the baby book because at 3:55am she can't remember what's considered a fever for an infant of 7-8 months and when she's supposed to panic and call the poor sleeping doctor. 100.4F is declared not enough to panic, so she goes back to bed, if not to sleep. In the morning, C's fever is a little worse (101.5F) so the doctor is called at a reasonable hour and reassures mommy. The little oven spent most of the day sleeping and somewhat unhappy, but by the evening, she had no more fever and was playing with daddy quite nicely. It was good to see that smile and those little laughing eyes, and to hear those giggles again.
Here comes night two of C sleeping in her own room, WITHOUT a fever this time. She woke up for the first time at 3:00am, more than 7 hours after going to sleep. It might be a little premature, but I'm very tempted to call it a success! Assignement: Toys or no toys in the crib? Discuss!

Mobility

Mobility is the name of the game now. We retired the co-sleeper today, after finding C on all four at the end of it. Knowing that she already tries to pull herself up, it was too dangerous. She gets on her knees, pushes with her feet to a plank position, drops down and thus gains a few inches. She can also creeps on her belly by pushing with her toes. She can rotate and roll-over... No toes are safe from being chewed, she likes ours as much as hers! Yesterday she also got back to a sitting position from her stomach, in front of Nona and Dida. She likes an audience! We spent almost three weeks with Bon-Papa and Bonne-Maman in Quebec. It was a wonderful vacation. They were able to see C learn new tricks, improve her reach from the sitting position, become more social, engaging in "conversations" where she actually expects her interlocutor to answer back, start eating new things such as grapes, olives, madarins, etc. in her mesh feeder. We hiked near the chalet with me wearing her on my back while she looked at the path passing by, the tree leaves moving in the wind and the colorful flowers of the fields. We went to the Summer Festival to see Shilvi, a kid's singer, who fascinated C and made her squeal and squeal. There was also a toddler girl behind us who threw a tantrum. C seemed puzzled and distressed by it and even after the little girl recovered, C would glance in her direction every couple of minutes. She also had a blast with LA, a little one year old daughter of a friend of mine. They both wanted to touch each other's ears, eyes, noses, etc. C would very much have liked being able to follow LA who crawls like an Olympic sprinter, but she was stuck sitting, waving her arms and squealing. We skyped with Daddy who went back home after the first weekend and C seemed to recognize him. She stayed on her stomach and talked to him for a good twenty minutes. When we got back to the city and she saw her dad, she was ecstatic. Ever since (it's been almost two weeks) she laughs at everything he does, flirts with him by inclining her head and giving him a charming shy smile and babbles at him. When she wakes up in the morning, if she sees him she immediatly taps her feet, waves her arms and giggles. A lot is happening very fast, it's dizzying. I'm hesitant to still call C a baby...